Too damn pretty
by In Smithereens
Summary: Marauders Era Hogwarts- Sirius explains what he plans to do during his NEWT History of Magic. No pairing, only friendship and canine on canine hugs .


Author's Note: More drabbley fluff. I really can't get into doing my angsty stuff right now. Also, would anyone read a Ginny pregnancy series (set in AU 7th book- the same universe as my angsty Dramione stuff)? I'm trying to start working on that- any ideas would be nice. And yes, accio can be used as a verb!

A not-so-vague Disclaimer: I do not own the Potterverse, I just love it. The only thing I gain from writing this is a sense of achievement and hopefully some nice reviews.

Sirius walked into their shared dorm with his hair ruffled and the buttons of his shirt only half done up.

"Pads, have you revised for the History of Magic exam?" James asked, slumped on his bed with a bottle of fire whiskey and a magazine in front of him.

"When's that?" Sirius asked as he walked over to the mirror in their bathroom and began to smooth down his hair, winking at his own reflection when he was finished.

"Tomorrow remember? You were supposed to come to the revision session last night but you were otherwise engaged…" Remus supplied wearily as he lit another cigarette and flicked through his pile of notes frantically before letting out a short sigh when he found whatever he was looking for.

"Is it in the morning? Because if it is, I'm not going." Sirius stole one of Remus' cigarettes and lay down on his bed, blowing smoke up at the ceiling.

"Seriously," Sirius laughed at that, but Remus continued, "What exactly do you plan on writing in the exam. The exam that starts at one." Sirius had the decency to actually ponder that, taking long drags of his cigarette and waggling his eyebrows in the way that made all of the girls infatuated with him… Not that Remus paid any specific attention to Sirius' eyebrow movements, it was just hard to miss the fact that every female in the vicinity seemed to giggle whenever he moved them.

"I'll write a nice letter to the examiner, detailing how, as we are at war it is rather pointless for me to learn this stuff… Also, I'll add that the illustrations of the goblins in the textbook put me off my food, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing as the thinner I get, the more roguishly attractive I become- if that's possible. I think that I might draw up a table of my attributes versus that of a goblin, just so they can see the difference…. Or I could just draw them a picture of Peter standing next to me, and they would understand." Sirius smiled, self-satisfied as the smaller (in height, not weight) boy looked up sharply.

"I resent that," he said, as he went back to reading the textbook and stuffing a sandwich into his mouth.

"The truth hurts, wormy."

"Seriously (if you laugh at the word 'serious' again I will accio your bloody hair) Pads, are you going to try in any of your N.E.W.T exams?" Remus asked, trying to skim-read his notes as he spoke.

"You and me are too pretty for work, Moony." Sirius loped over to Remus' bed and put his arm around the werewolf, taking his notes out of his hands and replacing them with James' bottle of fire whiskey. The werewolf took a swig of the alcohol before accioing his notes back and continued to read through them, with Sirius' arm still around him.

"What are we going to after school when we don't have any N.E.W.T results?" Remus asked.

"Uncle Alphard left me enough money, and Witch Weekly want me to do a cover when I leave school… Something about being an eligible bachelor. Anyway, Dumbles said that we can join the order officially when we leave. And I'm going to buy another motorbike."

"And what about me, a werewolf with no money?" Remus asked, having given up on his revision.

"Oh Moony, you can always live with me. And with your looks I'm sure you can find some lonely old woman to be your benefactress."

"Benefactress? Have you been reading Lil's old muggle books? The ones she calls 'classics'?" James asked from his bed.

"They are called classics for a reason, James." Remus said, with his 'teacher' tone of voice. "And Siri, why don't you just come out and admit that you're skirting around your plan for us to become gigolos."

"I just think that we'd be very successful, is all." Sirius said without shame.

"What am I going to do while you two gallivant around the world selling your bodies?" James asked, feeling left out despite his better judgement.

"I dunno, you'll probably work at the ministry… Plenty of jobs for speccy stalkers there."

"I only stalked her for a while!" James was indignant. "I had to, to get to know her."

"Yeah, tell that to Lily. Remember when she caught on that you had figured out all the timings of her day- even how long she showered for- and would do exactly the same, so you'd 'casually' keep bumping into each other." Sirius laughed.

"And when he put strawberry jam on his toast despite being allergic to it, just because she did and he wanted her to think that they had it in common… And he ate it and spent the rest of the day in the hospital wing because he'd gone into anaphylactic shock." Remus added.

"Just because all you care about is what you look like and Moony..." James glowered.

"The pretty people have to look out for each other, Prongsie."

"Can you stop calling us pretty?" Remus asked."

"What shall I say, beautiful? Statuesque? Alluring? Ravishing? Pulchritudinous?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows.

"I thought that you wanted my thesaurus to look up something for class, not think of more words to describe yourself, you narcissist."

"Hey! They're words to describe you as well."

"That just makes it all the more creepy, and you rather gay." James said.

"Just because I appreciate Remy's beauty and not yours…"

They continued to argue good- naturedly well into the night, before going to bed on Remus' insistence.

At three o'clock the next afternoon, the exam was almost over and all four boys were doodling idly on their papers. When the invigilator announced the end of the exam, Sirius dropped the quill he had been using to shade in his hair on one of his better pictures and let out a loud whoop. As they left he put his arm around Remus and the werewolf smiled.

"So, gigolos, huh?" Remus asked.


End file.
